Your sister was an honorable woman who sacrificed much for her family. Hindu Quotes of Condolence and Healing. Some illnesses are so severe that the body would succumb despite doctors doing their best. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." The Good Thinking team has produced this short guide to help anyone in the Hindu community across London who has lost a loved one, and to help health and care professionals who are supporting terminally ill patients of the Hindu faith. This setting gives the family a larger space to accept visitors and allows easier interaction with others. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. 9. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. It's appropriate to visit the family at their home after their period of mourning, which typically lasts 10 days. One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. Dress appropriately, lose the perfume (and sunglasses). After that, the body has to be cremated. Amy Wolkenhauer, BA in English/Creative Writing, https://www.indiatoday.in/information/story/deepest-condolence-messages-very-helpful-in-grief-1657386-2020-03-19, Hindu death traditions, rituals & beliefs. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. It is important to identify a persons religious inclinations at the start of their care and to find out what they need when approaching the end of life. Similarly, theres no understanding of heaven or hell, but there is the desire to achieve Nirvana. If not familiar with the situation, it is helpful to call a friend who knows the family, to find out beforehand when and where to visit, and what the right thing to do is while visiting. It is not slain when the body is slain. Bhagavad Gita 2.20. Friends and family visit the bereaved during the period of mourning which in Hindu traditions lasts for around 13 days. Gifts of Condolence | eCondolence.com When Is The Right Time To Offer Condolences? | Everplans When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. Today we offer a wide range of books, online resources, training programs for all ages and topics, a weekly podcast and a selection of greeting cards and paper products. People sometimes blurt out statements in the hope of comforting the grieving, but achieve exactly the opposite. Just letting her know that you are thinking about her can be helpful. Your father was a wise man. The dos as well as the donts are important. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. 9. Following are a collection of questions and answers about bereavement to help guide you during difficult times. Gifts of food and red flowers are not acceptable; white flowers are considered the appropriate mourning flower. The mourning period is observed at the grieving family's home and will last from 10 to 30 days. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. 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Well take you through some examples of condolences or sympathies below and try to iron out whats commonplace or whats appropriate in specific contexts. Traditionally, Hindus like to have the ashes spread on the Ganges Rivers waters in India. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. Share a toast. Someones positive familial and community impact is enough of a statement to their character in and of itself. Such people can be heard passing comments like When you look at her, she doesnt come across as someone who just lost her husband. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. You and your wife are well poised to take over your family. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. May God bring speed to your childs soul. form. of an actual attorney. However, this is not a religious requirement and entering the temple during the mourning period is not forbidden. The important thing is that you have received comfort from the many who have helped you. If a Hindu, they can participate in the chanting of mantras. Accept, Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. Memorial Day, considered the unofficial start of summer, is the last Monday in May. Adherence to a strict mourning period is less common today. Ultimately, Hindus believe that through praxis, accumulation of good karma, and divine grace, moksha (liberation) can be achieved after death. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. Rather than ask Do you need anything it is better to be specific about what we can do for them. It may not display this or other websites correctly. 15. During the ceremony, the last food is offered and flowers are arranged around the body. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. You should not bring flowers to a Hindu funeral. To this end, even a simple note will suffice. If you knew him, some kind words about himperhaps an anecdotewould mean a lot. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. Exchange stories about your loved one. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. Simple condolences are universally acceptable. This link will open in a new window. Service animals are allowed. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. (2020). After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. It is also appropriate to visit the home of the family to offer comfort and support. However, mourners can check with the funeral director or family for finding out whats appropriate for that particular funeral. You can see he wanted his family to live well for many generations. (Extra chairs can be made available for the elderly.) Certain rituals occur in the final moments, including: What should health and care professionals bear in mind? If a family member has persistent trouble sleeping, help must be summoned. When attending a senior persons funeral, enquiring publicly about the age of the deceased is inappropriate, whereas nodding in approval of the stated age is downright rude. If you decide you want to do it, then write your talk from your heart. The nominations for the 93rd Academy Awards will be announced on March 15. Choosing an appropriate date to bring home newborn. This period of time is rooted in traditional beliefs, with each of the day being divided into "minor days" (4 days for each week). For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. The family would have got over the immediate grief and anger by then, and will be receptive to conversation. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. If youre not familiar with these Hindu funeral customs, you may also see a lot of food and drink. Plan a remembering celebration with family or friends. Examples are I am sorry for your loss, We are here to help in any way that we can, I will check back on you tomorrow, I am just a phone call away. This link will open in a new window. This is generally the case with professional colleagues and associates, community and religious organization members, and other acquaintances. Keep your pet leashed, and clean up after it. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. Your mother had a happy death. Then, organize help with phone calls and the preparation of a newspaper announcement. Everyone in this community respected your father. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. The family also . "Mukhagni" or a cremation ceremony. people will avoid going to the deceased house. Since this is such a personal request it should be made, if at all possible, either in person or with a phone call. Find Appropriate Sympathy & Condolence Baskets. Some Indian-Americans journey all the way back to India to immerse the ashes in the Ganges or visit many pilgrimage sites to seek blessings for the departed soul and solace for their own pain. Most of the Hindu mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. In Gujarati families, there is a belief that the departed soul rests on the rooftop of the house observing everything for the next 13 days. (2.20) acche'dyo' yam adhaahyo' yam akle'dhyo' sya eva cha / nithyah sarva-gathah sthaanoor achalo' yam sanaathanah. For information about opting out, click here. And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Perhaps your friends child died as a teenager and didnt have a chance to go to university or get married for many reasons. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. 82 Telok Blangah Dr, #01-43, Singapore 100082, Copyright 2021/22 Funeral Flower Singapore | www.funeralflowerssingapore.com, 199+ Heartfelt and Deepest Condolences Messages For The Bereaved, 50+ Sincere Christian Condolence Message For Loss of Loved One, Funeral Ceremony Traditions of Different Religions in Singapore. Members of the immediate family aren't chosen, as their place is with the family. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Thank the family for offering the honor to you. The body usually remains at home until it is taken to the place where it will be cremated. Funeral Customs around the World - Eastern Europe Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. A Hindu priest will be invited to visit and to purify the house with incense, prayers and mantra. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. It is better to dress conservatively. Take a look. She was neatly dressed and even had her hair put up. Bereaved Etiquette for the Loved Ones on the Day of the Funeral Thats why cremation is preferred. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. Such dramatic statements serve no useful purpose to anybody except perhaps the perpetrator. 24/7 +65 9135 4444 Dismiss. Loud conversation on unrelated topics. They'll surely understand. Caring for someone who is dying involves looking after their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. It is eternal, all-pervading, changeless, immovable, and primeval. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. Various worldwide locations connote different customs and norms. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as speed is the best and appropriate choice. Funeral Customs for Different Religions and Cultures | Teleflora When someone has lived a happy, full life, there may be increased celebrations and dancing. A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. subject to our Terms of Use. Since you know that his mother likes lilies, you might want to wait a bituntil the activity immediately following your co-worker's death settles downand then send her the lilies. Das, S. (n.d.). We hope her journey is comforted by Lord Krishna (or Lord Rama). And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. The truth is, each family is unique, and a visitor will have little idea about the actual pains that the family went through to keep the person healthy and alive. Wearing black or pale shades are just fine unless there are specific protocols in place. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. The only exceptions to this obligation are when the expression of condolence is simply a printed form with no personal message, or when the writer asks that his or her note not be acknowledged (a thoughtful thing to do when writing a close friend, or when someone you know well will receive a great number of condolences). The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online I remember how she encouraged me to get good grades and once even offered me a ride home after school. Such words are of little use to someone who has just lost a loved one. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. As absurd as it might seem, in todays fast-paced world, there are instances of people placing wreaths on the wrong coffin, and even consoling strangers after mistaking them for immediate family. We loved her as our class teacher, she meant so much for all of us.. May Lord Krishna grant everlasting peace to her soul. The Spirit is not destroyed when the body is destroyed. Our Religions: The Seven World Religions Introduced by Preeminent Scholars From Each Tradition. Surinder taught his children to live with intent and to be good ancestors. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be delivering it at the service. It is customary to make a brief visit and spend a few moments in private prayer and then to visit with the family members. Food will be served following the ceremony. May she rest in peace. Although not a good idea immediately after the passing, subsequent visits with the family can be enlivened by conversation about the good memories we had together with the person. In Hinduism, it is not uncommon for someone to formulate their unique way of practicing their faith. He would tell you that mourning only keeps you from fulfilling your role as head of this family. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. Household items like decorative rugs, afghans and blankets make appropriate gifts to honor the memory of the loved one. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Sometimes, it is just for the family. A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. We often hear people say things like Dont be sad, Dont cry, It is all for good, I know how you feel, He is in a better place now in an attempt to provide comfort. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief - India Today Your clear expression of sympathy and caring for your coworker is what matters the most. As hard as it can be to believe, some overly curious visitors have the tendency to interrogate the family about the cause of death. Hindus believe cremation is the fastest way for aiding the soul to escape the body. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. What to do: Mourners may dress casually. The best thing is to work things through at your own pace. The family primarily staying in the family home during this time. Your are already subscribed for Malayala Manorama News Letter/Alert. Here is a list of dos and donts, International Film Festival of Kerala 2017 | Kerala Film festival | IFFK Awards | Onmanorama, International Film Festival Of India 2017 | Goa Film festival | IFFI Awards | Onmanorama, Why rolling your eyes at feminists isnt helping anyone, Transcendence of Death in the Harry Potter Series, Migrant workers send home 4 per cent of Kerala's GDP, Radhika Thilak, that gentle sweetness, is gone much before her time, Dont disturb, Supt. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. A kind friend never leaves our hearts; they will remain with us always. Explain that you don't feel you can do it, and be honest as to why. Not attending religious functions or celebrations. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. . Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Are others going to be speaking about her? Sometimes termed the Art of Presence, one of the best gifts one can give is the gift of time. Women need to dress conservatively with knees and arms covered. If you are a close friend or relative: Call or text immediately, find a time to visit the bereaved at home, and continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. Usually, 6-8 people are asked. However, they include prayers, rice balls and flowers are arranged around the body, a lamp is kept near the bodys head, food is offered, and water is sprinkled over the body. Talk to your friend's family. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and The family may return to work following the thirteen-day period of mourning. In an attempt to get noticed by everyone, some folks have a tendency to be loud and overdo their visit. (1995). Everything will be fine is another pass phrase where both the speaker and listener know its a lie. Hinduism: Periods of Mourning | eCondolence.com Check with another neighbor or look in your local newspaper for an obituary or death notice. Where would it be held? For instance, if the family head shows or voices no grief, the guests will respond similarly. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Following their bathing, they will clean the house, as it is a Hindu belief that when someone dies, their home and its inhabitants are left unclean and impure. Although some people may attend the cremation ceremony, non-Hindus are not allowed to participate in the mukhagni ceremony. For example, chewing loudly with an open mouth and talking with ones mouth full of food are considered bad table manners not because the offender has a problem with it, but because the others would find it repulsive. Good and bad manners do exist about visiting the bereaved, albeit with some variation between cultures. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. They also believe that the souls next incarnation depends on the personskarma (actions during their previous life). Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. He leads the family and mourners in various Hindu funeral rituals. Viewing the body is not mandatory, but is usually considered respectful if the casket is open and displayed near the family. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. The preta-karma serves to assist the soul of the deceased person moves to the new body in the reincarnation cycle. If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. 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